


The S(ex) Tapes

by hanabyulse



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Angst and Porn, Exes, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:41:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26697676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanabyulse/pseuds/hanabyulse
Summary: moonbyul, a world-renowned model, and yongsun, a celebrity photographer, are exes, but not quite.
Relationships: Kim Yongsun | Solar/Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul
Comments: 11
Kudos: 126





	1. one more night

Saturday was her flight. But Friday afternoon, Yongsun’s fingers traced a familiar indent on the side of her bed, a reminder of what used to be.

A lone sigh escaped her lips that searched for the taste of nicotine she told herself to quit. The only thing she couldn’t quit was Moonbyul. Moonbyul, who was five minutes away from her apartment right now. Moonbyul, whose very soul was captured in the pile of photographs in Yongsun’s nightstand.

Her fingers traced the delicate bone on Moonbyul’s bare back that was veiled with her porcelain skin in the photograph. Sifting through the camera films, Yongsun searched for more of Moonbyul in her pictures--her supple lips and breasts, her silken inner thighs and the skin of her shoulders and neck. As she closed her eyes and let go of them, the rain gently fell on the windows of her apartment. With the increasing sound of the pour, a tune rang through her room.

“I didn’t think you’d be here already.” She exhaled through her phone and lazily got up to look for her trousers. Moonbyul answered with an exasperated groan and mumbled through the phone.

“I’m not. I’m at the station and I don’t have an umbrella.” The exhaustion in her voice grew with each syllable, almost too tired to be asking for help. Yongsun pinched the bridge of her nose and nodded even though Moonbyul couldn’t see.

“I’ll be there in a minute.” With the confirmation, the other side went silent. Moonbyul had hung up and Yongsun was struggling to clothe herself in a pair of skinny jeans. 

She walked to the station near her apartment with an umbrella over her head and thinking to herself. What she in Moonbyul had was… complicated. Though it wasn’t always like this between them. It wasn’t always a few drinks and amazing sex until the next call. Looking back at it now, Yongsun realized that she shouldn’t reminisce over what used to be and what she couldn’t undo in the past. Surely, she had some regrets with what she could’ve done, but she and Moonbyul refused to talk about their past relationship.

It was just sex now. 

Just sex.

That was what Yongsun tried so desperately to remind herself every time Moonbyul still held her hand walking from the station to her apartment, or when she would kiss her with so much passion, still. 

It’s just sex--she tried to remind herself when she held Moonbyul’s ass and she moaned her name like a plea.

It was just sex. 

Yongsun had Moonbyul against the wall, her legs wrapped around her waist. Her fingers removed the hair that stuck to her sweaty face and Yongsun laughed at her attention to detail. 

“You don’t have to do that, babe.” She whispered before kissing her again. Moonbyul only smiled and nibbled on her bottom lip. Yongsun’s hands stayed on her hips, her nails digging into her skin. Meanwhile, Moonbyul’s palm travelled across her bare chest, fingertips teasing at the clasp of her bra. 

Yongsun's lips soon stuck onto her neck, biting at the spots she knew by memory. 

"More." Moonbyul pleaded, breathing heavily. She ran her tongue up her neck to her ear, biting gently at the lobe. 

"Say please for me?" 

She only grunted in retaliation, but gave in as Yongsun stopped. 

"Give me more please." Moonbyul's voice lowered to a whisper; she didn't want to submit.

Yongsun easily complied, her teeth gnawing on her neck while her hands undressed Moonbyul of her undergarments. 

She carried her body to her bedroom, gently placing her down on her bed. 

"You're so beautiful," she told her while her lips trailed down her chest. 

Yongsun's lips stop to suck on her nipple and then the other, receiving wanton moans of her name from Moonbyul, whose fingers grabbed onto her hair, pulling her in closer. 

Her hand wandered down to the model's inner thigh and rubbed gently. 

"You were always such a tease." 

"Don't pretend you don't like it. As far as I know, you even like edg—"

"Shut up and fuck me, Yongsun." 

Her middle finger rubbed against Moonbyul's clit and she threw her head back as a throaty groan left her lips. 

"Faster," she stuttered, her hand gripped on Yongsun's wrist. 

"You don't get to tell me what to do, Byul." The photographer leaned in closer and plunged in her finger inside of Moonbyul. 

Her head dipped into her thighs and Yongsun licked up her slit. She slurped up her juices clean, the tip of her tongue teasing at her entrance. 

"Fuck. Yongsun, please." Moonbyul cried, her hips bucking in an attempt to quicken up her actions. 

Her lips brushed against her clit and planted a small kiss. She knew Moonbyul like the back of her hand, and even if it frustrated her, being teased got her off even more. 

"Goddammit Yongsun! Please fuck me. Please." 

"Only because you asked  _ so _ nicely." She chuckled and took out her finger from inside her. Yongsun then thrusted two fingers with ease and sucked on her clit. 

The model arched her back, turning into a bundle of moans. She became weak so quickly under Yongsun's touch, and who could blame her? 

Yongsun lapped on her cunt almost hungrily, but with a steady pace, making sure to get the places that would please Moonbyul the most. 

It didn't take long for the woman under her to orgasm, whose come she licked clean. 

"Give me something to remember you by while I'm in LA." Yongsun breathed in her ear while they laid together and Moonbyul caressed her cheek.

"You already have enough." Her hands directed Yongsun to look at her and she pouted.

"I could always use more."

Like it was nothing (and it was), Moonbyul lifted the comforter from her bare body and looked in Yongsun's eye. 

The photographer reached for her instant camera in her nightstand and looked through the viewfinder to capture her model perfectly. 

She clicked on the shutter and out came a photo film of Moonbyul's fingers placed gingerly on her abdomen. 

Another click; a photo of her lips with the pad of her thumb. 

The valley of her breasts, the cave in her collarbones, the hickeys on her neck, the red tint on the cheeks of her ass; Yongsun immortalized all of it in her photographs. 

Sex was better with love, Yongsun came to realize. Sex was better with love, and didn’t they have that? Sex  _ was  _ better with love, but did it have to be reciprocated?

Beside her, Moonbyul laughed and shook her head. Yongsun asked why.

“You’re overthinking again.” Moonbyul massaged the space between her eyebrows where they would meet in a furrow whenever she was thinking. Yongsun chuckled in response and breathed out sharply.

“Of course. There’s always much to think about.” 

“Tell me then.” Her fingers found her way into the gaps of her fingers and placed soft kisses on her knuckles.

“We agreed not to talk about our relationship.” Moonbyul’s lazy smile quickly fell as she cleared her throat.

“Ah.”

Silence befell the two of them and Yongsun closed her eyes. Beside her, she felt Moonbyul get out of where she laid.

“Don’t go.” Yongsun always prayed she never would. She could hear the sound of Moonbyul's belt and her walking around the apartment, looking for the rest of her outfit. 

“You have a flight tomorrow, Miss Photographer.” She was closer now, almost like she was leaning in. 

“Do I?” Yongsun smiled, feigning innocence, even though she barely was. Moonbyul kissed her forehead and then her nose. 

“Goodnight. And goodbye forever.” She didn't mean it. Not forever. She always said forever. 

I'll love you forever. I'll be there with you forever. 

“Until next time.” Yongsun corrected her. Moonbyul's laugh wisped the hairs on her face. 

“Until next time.” 

The door to her apartment opened and then closed. Just like that, Moonbyul was gone. 

Again. 

And she was alone, still obsessing over another chance she was never going to get. 


	2. gin and tonic

Desperate for a form of escape, Yongsun's fingers played with the cigarette stick. She wasn't going to smoke, not yet, but watched as the sun set, alone. 

The unlit cigarette sat in between her teeth as she opened her phone on the patio chair. 

_ To Moonbyul _

_ Hey I'm back in Seoul.| _

That didn't sound right. 

_ To Moonbyul _

_ I'm home. Let's meet.| _

Not that either. Words were never her strongest asset and it showed as she hit her palm against her forehead. The blinking line at the end of the unsent text strained her eyes and she clenched her jaw.

She didn't want to seem like she was begging for an ounce of Moonbyul's attention, even though she already was doing exactly that. 

_ To Moonbyul _

_ Are you busy today?| _

_ Are you busy today?  _

_ Sent _

Tired from a single attempt to reach out to Moonbyul, Yongsun entered her apartment and poured herself a glass of wine. 

She shook her head at her own coping mechanisms. Sure, she quit smoking, but couldn't stop drinking her liver out. After taking a single sip, Yongsun let out a sigh as she would when smoking. 

Her eyes looked around the dimly-lit small excuse of an apartment and then at the hand that rested on the kitchen island. The photographer found herself smiling bitterly at the silver ring that adorned her fourth finger. 

Taking notice of it must have been a sign for another drink, so she grabbed another. 

And another. 

And another. 

_ From Moonbyul  _

_ I can't come right now.  _

_ Sorry.  _

How many drinks would she have to take to numb the pain? Her vision was spinning and she couldn’t stand to get to her bedroom. She laughed to herself and held her head. Out of the corner of her eye, the ring still shone as an agonizing reminder of what used to be. Crying tears she didn’t know were falling, Yongsun tried to remove it.

How many drinks did she have to take to forget about Moon Byulyi? She grunted as she struggled to slip off the ring from her finger. Why wouldn’t it come off?

“Just.. fucking… go already!” Her words came out through her gritted teeth and with a tear-stained face. It was as though the ring itself resisted being taken off. 

How many drinks has she taken just to try not to feel anything? To try not to feel the remainders of Moonbyul’s love? 

Not enough apparently, because she sat in her apartment, sobbing and bawling her heart out. Frustrated with herself, Yongsun’s knuckles turned white and tried to fight the feeling of wanting to leave a hole in her wall.

“Yongsun?” A voice rang through the apartment as the door opened. She refused to look up at her. 

“Have you been drinking all this time?” Moonbyul held her shoulders and looked into her swollen eyes. Her thumb softly wiped at the tears that kept on falling. Upon taking notice of the ring Moonbyul was wearing that matched hers, Yongsun sobbed into her chest and hit her with her fist.

“Why?” was all she could ask of Moonbyul, unable to form coherent sentences or ask proper questions. But Moonbyul knew. She had to know what Yongsun was asking.

“I’m sorry,” she said in a hushed whisper. Nothing had hurt Yongsun more than that apology, other than what she said when they broke up. 

Why are we still doing this when we’ve separated? Her nose was filled with the scent of Moonbyul--who always smelled like candied strawberries and expensive perfume. And she smelled just like home. 

Her fingers combed through Yongsun’s short hair and rubbed circles on her back to soothe her. She would’ve had to do more than that to relieve Yongsun of the same pain she brought her. 

“I’m really sorry.” Yongsun shook her head. Moonbyul pulled away to cup her cheek and the photographer avoided her eyes. 

“Why won’t you look at me?” She asked, her thumb still caressing her cheek. Yongsun sniffled in response and wiped at her face with the sleeve of her shirt. 

“I can’t. I can’t see you.” There was a slur in her words and she blinked hard, to look at Moonbyul in the dark. Still, she radiated so brightly. 

“Why… Why do you still wear that?” She hiccuped, rubbing her eye while Moonbyul sighed and took a seat beside her. 

“Why do you?”

“Because I still love you. Because I want to believe you still love me.” The answer was easy. It was obvious enough and Moonbyul didn’t even have to ask. 

“I know, Yong. I know.” She exhaled and then cried, too. Then Yongsun cried again. The four years were just too good to forget, to give up. Not one of them could even when they had to. 

“I need to go now. Call me anytime, okay?” Yongsun nodded and Moonbyul placed a small kiss on her forehead. She leaned forward to kiss her on the lips. 

Yongsun couldn’t tell if it was her lack of sobriety or her sober stupidity, but she could swear she could almost hear her say “I still do love you,” when she left.

  
  
  
  
  



	3. don't tell me

This wasn’t how she usually spent her Fridays. Yongsun struggled to make her way through the sea of people with her cocktail in hand. She had a certain goal in mind, and that was to only meet with Park Chorong, an old friend. Well,  _ friend  _ was putting it lightly. The nature of Chorong and Yongsun’s relationship was far from friendly--considering the touching, the kissing, the fucking. 

Yongsun wasn’t exactly sure what had come over her to make her decide that she would rekindle the old flame, yet here she was, still. The photographer tried to ignore Chorong’s obvious hand that was sliding up her thigh, or the distance that almost didn’t exist between their faces. 

Chorong was kissing her. She was kissing Chorong back. 

She was kissing someone else. Not that this was a new set of lips; they just weren’t Moonbyul’s. With that in mind, Yongsun pulled away and gazed at Chorong, who looked at her like she put the stars in the sky. That wasn’t a good indicator--she could get attached and Yongsun wasn’t looking for anything, or someone yet. She was just… trying to put her mind to other things. Trying was the key word here. Her thoughts were somehow still filled with Moonbyul. 

She wished it was Moonbyul who moaned her name on her bed right now. She wished it was Moonbyul she had her fingers inside of. But it was someone else, and it felt wrong. This was wrong. 

Yongsun tried to evade the feeling that she shouldn’t be doing this, but she couldn’t think of any other way to distract her other than alcohol and sex. There was no way she would go back to smoking cigarettes or calling Moonbyul back up.

Her eyes were drawn back to Chorong, lying naked beside her. Just a few weeks ago, that would’ve been Moonbyul. 

Chorong’s fingers touched her shoulder gently and she licked her lips before speaking to Yongsun.

“Can I say something?” She nodded, and Chorong looked right at her eyes. Oh no. She knew what that had to mean.

“You can’t be. You don’t love me, Chorong.” 

“But I do. I love you, Yongsun.”

Sobriety crept up on Yongsun like a familiar friend; the words echoing inside her head. She took a single step forward into a whirring pool of her thoughts. 

“You don’t know anything about me.” Her facial expression turned stoic, and her body stiffened up. “You need to go, Chorong.”

The woman laughed and stared at Yongsun, who almost flinched as she tried to touch her. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you still loved her.” There was a sour look on Chorong’s face that held bitterness as she dressed herself and left Yongsun’s apartment. 

Easily, she had broken her promise to herself to not bother Moonbyul. Her phone rang with the dial tone as her eyes shifted around the room. 

“It’s 1AM.” Moonbyul was woken up by the call, she could tell. Yongsun missed that half-asleep voice, and yet found herself being flattered by the fact that she chose to pick up rather than continue sleeping.

“Can I come over?” She exhaled, hoping for a yes. Silence awaited her, and figured Moonbyul was only putting her eyeglasses on. 

“For a drink or a fuck?” It was meant as a joke, but Yongsun’s heart sank. She didn’t want to rely on destroying herself further just to move on from Moonbyul. She had to build herself back up. Only she wasn’t so sure this was the best way to do it.

“How about a conversation?” From the other line, she could hear the sound of a sliding door opening and the flickering of a lighter.

“What is there to talk about?” Yongsun didn’t know why, but she felt herself starting to tear up. 

“Please, Byul. I need to be with you and hold you. I just need you.” Desperation. That’s why she was on the edge of sobbing. Her nails dug into her palms as her vision blurred with the tears in her eyes. There was more silence on the other line that deafened Yongsun while she anticipated what Moonbyul was going to say next.

“Will you be staying the night?” 

“Do you want me to?”

“You could.” 

It was just two words, but they lifted Yongsun’s mood in an instant. She pinched the bridge of her nose and decided she would get dressed and drive an hour just to see Moonbyul.

“You smell like cigarettes.” She murmured into Moonbyul’s silk pajamas and the model chuckled as she stroked her hair.

“You smell like someone else but you don’t see me complaining.” Her fingers slipped under Yongsun’s chin and kissed the top of head with adoration.

“How are you taking this so calmly?” This, Moonbyul knew, was their breakup. They were together for four years and had to part just before getting married. Surely that had to hurt. Surely, Moonbyul had to know the pain that Yongsun was feeling right now. 

“I’m trying to.” That question had to be her breaking point, because then, Moonbyul’s voice broke. While Yongsun never knew, they were always together in the misery of their separation--together, yet apart.

“Can’t we try again?” Yongsun asked, yet it wasn’t exactly addressed to Moonbyul. The two of them stayed in each other’s arms, still and quiet. 

There were no more chances. Not for them. Yongsun knew that, but she still had an ounce of hope for the two of them. Maybe, just maybe, they could try again. 

“You know we can’t.” Moonbyul tried to ease it in with a pause. Yongsun could only nod in agreement, for Moobyul had confirmed what she feared. She couldn’t figure out what went wrong.

“Can we just stay like this?” She asked. In that moment, in Moonbyul’s arms and having her right there; she wanted to stay forever. She wanted to have her forever. 

“I’d like that.” Moonbyul’s eyes shone like the stars; the whole galaxy was in them, like Yongsun used to say. She prayed at least those would remain with Moonbyul even if she wasn’t. 


End file.
